Friday night, muggy night

Another week down. And I realized that not only did Madds have a cold, she also was teething AND going through a growth spurt. No WONDER she was a grump-a-saur! But I think the spurt has sprung and now we're just dealing with Maddy being able to reach a new height in the house. She's hanging off the countertops now (literally) and reaching doorknobs (but not able to turn them. Yet.)  and grabbing for things off the table (knives are now placed at the top of plates). And her third molar (her 11th tooth) is completely out and molar 4 is almost finished emerging. Twelve teeth. Twelve bouts of teething. And now I hope we get a small break. For awhile. A looooong while. And then the cold, which is still leaving a wee bit of snot everywhere. It's been a crazy week.

Tonight I was laying on my back, on the living room floor. When I get Maddy on the ground, on her back, I grab her arms and pin them down and say "nom... nom... nom... NOM" and nibble her armpits or cheeks or neck. When Maddy sees me laying on my back? Maddy thinks PAYBACK! Tonight she came giggling over and crawled up my belly. But every inch she got closer to my face was another inch of slobber she left, trailing up my shirt. Teething is DROOLY.

Daycare is a simple transfer now. Maddy walks into the room and the little boys there say "Hi Maddy!" and she walks in and says "HAI!". Then wanders off to play. When it's time for me to go, I say bye and Maddy and she "blows" me a kiss (she kisses her hand, but doesn't quite get the release) and says "BAI" and continues to play. It's a simple and easy transfer. Dad gets the special part of the day - the part filled with Maddy's face lighting up with joy and her running over, arms extended, chanting "dadadadadadadad". May 31 I have to go to the doctor (annual physical, nothing alarming) and will pick up Maddy on my way home. I can't wait to get the happy part of the day!

This is the first long weekend of the summer and I initially thought about making outdoor plans, but the quantity of mosquitoes may keep us more indoors. I just can't imagine coating Madds in DEET. Yet. And dad had Friday off, so it's just Madds and I on Monday. I think we have plans to go to WEM with a friend. Mum needs a new bra! Tomorrow the garden goes in (yay!) and then Sunday we're getting together with friends. A bust weekend, filled with family and friends and Maddy. Can't ask for anything more.

We kicked it

First daycare cold? Kicked to the CURB. Although mum and dad are still a little sick. But Madds is back to her normal self. We also had (more) teething this weekend and that seems to have passed too. Everything is better with a happy girl.

Otherwise life continues at break neck speed. Every night is busy with... everything. Cooking and cleaning and getting Maddy ready for daycare and just keeping life going. Soon there will be yard work too. This weekend, for the first time since Maddy was born, I just... I just wanted a day off. A day off from errands and house work and cleaning and laundry and keeping Maddy out of trouble. I just wanted to lay in bed, drink tea and read a book. I would have loved it if Maddy would have curled up with me and relaxed too... but I just wanted to stop for a day and be lazy. There was a part of me that felt so guilty about the way I felt. I never wanted to stop being Maddy's mom, but I just wanted to stop. As a mom you are never supposed to stop and never want to stop. And I wanted to stop. Did I? Of course not. We kept Maddy entertained and got bedding plants and get everything ready for the next day. But more than anything else, I wanted a day off.

In response to this, I have arranged for baba to come babysit and Neil and I are going on a date. Just him and I, for a few hours. I am also not telling Neil where the date is going to be. Surprise! We're also going to Calgary for a weekend in June, to help celebrate a friend's 40th birthday. Once again, it'll be a weekend without Maddy, and baba will get her fill with her baby girl. And maybe these breaks will give mum a wee chance to recharge.

Speaking of recharging... there is no chance for that tonight! Time to get to work - I am hoping to have an early bedtime tonight (ya right)

Testing, testing

Hello again! It's been awhile. Blogger was down for a bit and then the weekend was FULL. And there was illness in the house. But were ba-a-a-a-a-ck!

On Friday morning Maddy woke with a runny nose. We still went to daycare, but the moment we got there Maddy decided to be a grump. She fussed and fretted and wouldn't let me leave. At one point, she started to cry when I walked away. The cry bought people from the other room running in fear of a serious fall. Nope. Just my girl being her loud self! Baba picked her up and took her home for the rest of the day. The three of them had a great time! Saturday was filled with compost buying and errands and errands. Same with Sunday. Well, no more compost but some bedding plants to put in the composted soil.

But Saturday? Saturday Maddy was out of sorts. She was a walking, snotty grump-a-saur. But life with a snotty nose (that mama keeps wiping) can't be fun. And if her cold is anything like the version Neil and I have? Comes with an aching throat to boot. Although I am certain her throat is just fine, considering she spent much of today in an awesome mood and laughing and squealing.

There are challenges to being Maddy's mom. She is a very determined little girl and isn't scared to lose her mind if things don't go her way. Today at the mall we let her walk around, but only if she held mum's hand. Maddy was loving it, and squealing in joy, until the shiny floor caught her attention and she wanted nothing more than to crawl on the mall floor. And then stand up and run, free from any encumbrance (like mum's hand). And that is just not ok. So we'd pick her up and hold her, if she wouldn't listen. And then she'd wail and throw her body backwards in protest. We're, luckily, getting to be very good and dealing with that little maneuver and could catch her before she fell. But the looks we got... I am happy that I can say that I am confident enough in my mothering skills that the looks of horror on people's face as they watch my kiddo pitch a fit do not make me wish the floor would swallow me whole. So far. If anyone out there has raised an independent child and has any advice on how we respect her strength and confidence but still corral her enough that she doesn't hurt herself... Please share.

Maddy's baptism date has been planned. The Minister has agreed to perform the ceremony. And today we got the yes from the godparents! Now just to plan the menu, finalize the guest list... and we're good to go.

Despite having a cold and aching throat and wanting nothing more than to sleep... the dishes and making Maddy`s lunch and making my lunch and folding laundry and dusting and... well, all the stuff that a mom does must be done.

Update: Maddy's new tricks!

OK, we aren't sure it's daycare or would have happened anyway... but Maddy is blossoming! She's speaking so much more (or at least trying her hardest), she started singing on the weekend, she helped take her shirt off herself before her bath, she's answering more questions now, she's saying "hi", she's responding to our requests (like "Maddy, did you finish your milk?" and she went, found her milk and finished it). It's kind of frightening, how much and how fast it's all happening.

On Friday night we moved Maddy's bedtime. She has been going down at 7pm since she was 6 months old. At 15 months, it was time to make a change. Her bedtime is now 730pm, which means a lot more time with her in the evening, considering I get home at 445pm and have to make dinner, ready for 530pm. We eat, then I'd only have about 45 minutes with her. Now? Over an HOUR! And I have to say, I love the extra time! Before daycare Maddy would be acting tired by 6pm. Now, despite being more active than ever, she's completely alert and ready to go until at least 7pm!

Tonight from 630-7pm we sat with Maddy at the back landing. Maddy loves to crawl down the stairs to the landing when the dogs are outside and bark and wave to them. Tonight, even after the dogs were back in, we sat there and...

We waved

We reached for the door handle

We reached under the door

We told stories (Maddy was an enthralled audience)

We... um... well SHE... um...

And what a blast it was!

The most awesome daycare and most awesome present

I am so lucky and so happy that we got Maddy into the awesome daycare we got her in to. This morning it was a breeze taking Maddy in. We walked in (well, I walked and she was carried) and she was quite calm and once I put her down and she got into all the toys... she was just fine. She didn't even pay any attention to my frantic waving and and tearful gaze. She was having fun with Laura, reading a book! As I was hovering, enjoying a few seconds with my girl, one of the staff came in. The little boy - maybe around 4? 5? - from the older kid room noticed her come in and his face lit up. He called out to her and held his arms up for a hug and told her that he missed her. One evening away, and he missed her. And they thought that was normal! Laura's philosophy is that while the parents are at work, her job is to love the kids like they are her own. And it's so obvious she does.

Baba has been in serious (and grump-inducing) withdrawals from her loss of Maddy time. This morning baba came over to oversee a bunch of work being done at the house and then went to get Maddy. Baba and Maddy spent some time together this afternoon (having soft ice-cream). And when I got home there was a special surprise for me.

There was a pink bag with a smeared blue handprint on it. And my first every homemade Mother's Day card.

If you look closely, you can see a few blue and orange pencil marks on the bottom of the card.

I am a mom. I am a most amazing little girl's mom.

Day 2 of Daycare

Today I took Maddy for day 2 of daycare. And today? SO much harder. Maddy cried when we walked in there - she understood this is the room where she gets left. And even while I stayed there for 30 minutes, trying to reassure her, she would be happily playing then just stop and cry. Wail, like her little heart was breaking. Finally, I had to leave to make it to work. I walked out and Maddy started crying. And I had to keep walking. The awesome staff were quick to run over, pick Maddy up and distract her. They know what they are doing. But this first time mom? She's feeling a little lost.

I know it'll get better, I know it's the best thing for Maddy. But as my wise mom says, her head knows it's right but her heart feels like she's deserting our girl.

Today I called (again) to see how she was. The staff we reassuring and Maddy was doing fine, after a few tears this morning. When I called I asked about how Maddy was doing they called me "Maddy's mom". The years of being known as "Maddy's mom" has started. I thought it would feel foreign, like someone way more responsible than I am. But, when I heard it, I felt like it fits. There is a large part of me and my life devoted to being Maddy's mom. While it isn't my entire life, I love it being a large chunk of my life for now.

Maddy's outfit for her first day of daycare. And in case you are wondering, she's holding a tightly sealed empty jar of my anti-aging cream. She found it upstairs and has become a favorite thing to carry around.

No, I don't get it either.

I took her to daycare

This morning it was actually pretty easy to take Maddy to daycare. She was in a great mood, she had a good sleep, she loves going places! And I still love the daycare and the staff and the people there. Maddy was off and running and into everything. So much to explore! To taste! To throw! They even opened the sandbox (an indoor sandbox!) which Maddy tried to eat from. I was doing really good. Until I had to leave.Without Maddy. I said "bye bye" and she waved and blew kisses. And didn't even look at me. She was much too interested in everything else. Then I hugged her and kissed her and told her how much I love her. And cried a little... And she turned away and started playing. As I walked out, she started to follow me. I waved bye bye and one of the awesome staff grabbed her and took her back to the toys.

And I left her there.

Laura, the awesome Director, was so reassuring. Outgoing kids like Maddy do well at daycare. I know she'll thrive with new places to go, things to do, kids to interact with. She will not be the kid that gets bullied by others, she'll stand up for herself. She won't be like I was, as a child. The staff know what she can do and will work with her to learn new skills. She has her own little cubby with a hook and a place to put her shoes. And an art portfolio, where we can see how she improves in her drawing. She'll learn SO much from the other kids there. And the staff. We sometimes underestimate her skills and what she's capable of - we have never done this before!

This is the right thing to do. So why am I still crying?



* Edit to add - I called at 1115am. Maddy had just finished lunch and was about to get ready for her nap. And? She was doing just fine! She even had a few smiles when she went on her walk! And I got soooo many errands done and things around the house accomplished. I have 2 hours before Neil and I go pick Maddy up and all I need to do on my exhaustive list of things to do is mop the main floor. Aahhh... I think we'll both maybe make it through the day...