Month Thirty-Eight

Dear Maddy,

I have spectacularly failed at blogging more. Although every single day you do something amazing, that I want to just capture and hold on to forever.

You still like to help set the table (and will have a fit if I do it without you). I plan on taking advantage of this while I can. Although yesterday when I asked your help you calmly responded "No, mommy". Um... yes, Maddy. Yes. And you did help. You went to the dentist for the first time ever, and did smashing. You were not impressed with the drills (you really hate all loud noises) but were great with everything else. You have 20 teeth, and they all look good. We also FINALLY can put you into more than 2 pairs of shoes. Although shoes have to be pink. Or purple. Because those is your favorite colours. Apparently, according to you, they are my favorite colours too (they are not, I don't really have a favorite but am quite partial to green). Although at the dentist you insisted on getting a blue and green tooth brush. I dunno...

This morning you were taking FOREVER to eat breakfast. And I did not want to be late for my new job (which I am LOVING SO HARD) so I rushed you. You wanted more milk. I said no. You lost your mind. Of course, you're three!

I carried you to your room and started changing you and you grumped and fought and were... three. I finally had enough, snapped and looked you in the face and said "Madeline. That is ENOUGH." And then you started crying in earnest. I broke your little fragile new heart.

"Oh Mommy, I don't know HOW to stop cwying..."

Grabbing you in my arms, I said sorry as your arms and legs clamped on to me tightly and you buried your head in my neck. We got you milk, we hugged and soon you were ok again. I got you dressed and we got your barrettes in. Then we started to make our way out the door, when you decided to lecture me...

"Mommy you awe VEWY GWUMPY. You said NO TO ME!"

*sigh*

A theme. You said no to me. Of COURSE we say no to you, Maddy. And I know sometimes you WAAANT to (or don't want to). I understand! However? You cannot always get your way.

It's such a tenuous dance, life with a three year old. What is a battle worth fighting? What habits are we creating by saying yes? Or no? How much control over their life does a three year old need? When is it ok to back down? When is it not?

This is also that time when the details of parenting styles start to matter. In the start, when you were young your dad and I had to agree when to feed you, change you... Pretty macro stuff. Now it's 2 people who have the same general goals and ideas (with slightly different implementation plans) trying to always appear as a unified front. Much more micro, much easier to play one against the other. And you already try...

But one thing we know for sure, we both love you so so so very much. SO much.

Love,

--mommy