Sunday, November 27, 2011

Month 22 letter*

Dearest Mad-delicious,

You are 22 months (*and one day) now. Mommy was a little absent minded yesterday and despite trying to remind myself in 3-4 places, I forgot to write yesterday. Oops. Life seems to be a constant balance of trying to remember to get everything done. More simply, I just try to remember what needs to be done, let alone find the time to do it.

Life with you is awesome. You are fun and funny and smart and so verbal and so observant. I love to just watch you take in a new piece of information, like what this new object is, and try to find where it fits in your existing knowledge matrix. The timer we got from the burger place was something new. You looked at the shape, a rectangle with a large round knob, and announced to us (quite proudly) CAM-RA! Well, Maddster, it definitely had the shape. You are also starting simple sentences and simple conversations. We can ask you questions and you answer. We can give you directions and you respond. We can also do something completely innocuous like put on your jacket and you LOSE YOUR MARBLES because it was not the thing you wanted to do. Terrible twos? They be starting. It's time for me to pick up a few child development books on what you are really capable of and what concepts you truly understand.

Maddy, you are bigger than the average 22-month old girl. And you are very verbal. And very engaging. And sometimes people forget how really young you are. And I want to be sure our expectations of you are reasonable. And that your behaviour is normal (like the random freak-outs and the refusal to eat dinner - no matter what I cook). But to have the honour to watch you grow and learn and explore... I know I was meant to be your mom.

Although now that you're here, and so fun to hang out with, HOW does a mother get it all done. And then add a second and still get it all done? I decided awhile ago that there were three top priorities in my life - 1) spend time with you and your dad. 2) Make sure you have healthy meals to eat (even if you refuse to eat them). 3) That once a week I  need to get out. Away from being mom and wife and chef and cleaner and accountant and organizer. That I can just be Wendy the friend and have no responsibilities. But after those three, there is an endless list. Cleaning and organizing and groceries and errands and bills and Christmas and decorating the house and my silly computer games and plan for the future... It's a game of whack-a-mole trying to get the rest dealt with. And I sometimes get it done. More often, I miss a mole or two. But I just want you to remember that spending time with you is always #1 on my list of things to do. Always.

This letter feels like I was phoning it in just a little, but the day is marching on and there is LOADS to do today. Too much to do... But most importantly, it's time to hop on the other couch with my girl and my best friend and mooch dad's smoothie. And laugh in amazement how you, my girl, are so much like you father in appearance.

Happy 22 month-day my girl!

Love you always,


Saturday, November 19, 2011


This is my 400th post. Four. Hundred. Posts. About... us. Just us. Just growing and nurturing a human. Wow. So, this one feels like it should be important - have some special meaning. But? Nope. Not much to report.

How dull.

Maddy is awesome. Maddy is also bossy. Mommy, jacket OFF. Mommy, shoes OFF. Mommy, light ON. Mommy?  Come HEER. WIGG-OS!! DANCE! WIGG-OOOOOOOOOS! Go AWAY. Imperatives all the way!

Works (both mine and Neil's) are good. I love my job, I love the people I work with, I love the tasks I am asked to do. Neil is settling into his new job and is doing really well. And tonight I get to meet his coworkers at his Christmas party. Yup, just a little nervous. Here's hoping I don't make an ass of myself (I have been known to do that before).


The weather is COLD so we're just staying in. Maddy does not understand hats and gloves (and just tears them off). And scarves are a choking hazard. And she says "OUCH! HURT" when we do her jacket up to the top. So? Inside we stay today.

Most pathetic 400, like, ever.

Ah well, drama or upset or scandal or sadness seems to translate better into creativity or writing. And life, right now, is happy and peaceful and fun. But I'd much rather have it this way, happiness may not translate well into writing but it makes for a wonderful life to live.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Was I really just...?

Sunday was a lazy day. We did nothing - not even change out of our pajamas. Normally a day at home means someone gets a little bored with the SAME. OLD. HOUSE. And whining ensues. Although yesterday Madds (oops! spoiler!) was pretty content, until the very end when she just had enough of this day.

But the lazy Sunday makes up for the super busy Saturday. Baba, Dido, Neil, Maddy and I went to the Titanic exhibit and then out for dinner. The exhibit was short, but moving. Literally for the one in charge of chasing down Maddy and figuratively for the others. As 3 of us would wander and read and look, the fourth would be chasing a running Maddster as she ping-ponged from display to display. And, honestly, I looked at the room from her perspective. Words she can't read on the walls and boxes with things that were above her line of sight. But there were many people to visit and space to run. When I had a chance to look, the artifacts were interesting but it was the stories of the people... that moved me. Sometimes it's easy to read about an event and be sad. For me, it's when I break the event to the people - their lives and stores - that is when I am devastated. These stories from a century ago had tears coming to my eyes. But also, it reaffirms my belief that no matter when we live in time, we're all the same. Love, laughter, heartbreak... living. It all happens then much like it does now.

Back to reality, we then took Maddy to the space area and let her run wild and free. And she ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. Can my child actually still walk, or is it only run now? She walked up to people and said hi, she pushed buttons and pointed to "MOON". And ran. When it was time to leave there were a few tears (it's never fun to have fun end). And then to dinner, which took way too long. And home to bed.

But before the busy started, we were at home and hanging out in the living room. Neil and I were on one couch and Maddy was watching TV. A song came on that I knew and I started my off-key warble along. Maddy turned to me, pointed her finger to her lips and firmly said:


I stopped singing and stared. Then? I started laughing maniacally. My 21 month-old daughter just SHUSHED ME. My laughter lead to another shush (which lead to more laughter, which I muted with my hands). Oy vey, Maddster. You are a girl of certainty.

Life, otherwise, continues to speed by. Still. Maybe this is just the normal pace of life now and I should stop commenting on it?

Because I never seem to get around to typing as often as I would like, I'll continue to ramble about baby version 2.0 and my newest thoughts. I have set out to the universe, to have a second child Neil and I would have to win a substantial amount of money in the lotto, so that we could afford said child. So we could afford larger mortgage (for a house with enough bedrooms) and 2 daycare spots and 2 RESPs. I know we could do it with what we have, but we'd do it with more stress and financial strain and worry.

I read blogs (which led to writing in blogs). I read the blogs of people with 2 or more children and their level of busy. Of losing tempers, of snapping at everyone, of wondering how it'll all work. And chasing children in opposite directions, and more sleeplessness and tiredness and more stress and less money. Sure, there is more love and more hugs and more kisses and more being shushed... but we have an amazing life right now. We have balance. We have an equilibrium that all three of us (five if you include the dogs) are thriving in. And I am not sure I want to rock that boat. Because I really am a klutz and could see myself falling in the water...

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Somehow it's November. Time is passing at a frightening rate. It's 48 days until Christmas. And since I refuse to enter malls come December 1st, I'm running out of time! Although I think I'll be doing some shopping for a specific child closer to Christmas. Some one keeps changing her mind on what she loves most. Hep-copper, or hair-plain, or truck or car or Doora or WIGG-OS! Maybe we should wait a little closer to the day, to make the purchases. But I am already thinking about ways to make Christmas about more than one morning full of toys, but a time of family and togetherness and fun. Yes, I am THAT mom!

The last little while has been a bit more challenging. Maddy had a rash on her hands and knees, and was sleeping poorly because of it. And poor sleep = grumpy girl. Just fragile, anything and everything set her off. But the rash is getting better. And she's sleeping better. She's also been put on an inhaler, for a chronic cough. It's been around since... May? But it's just something we got used to. One cough in the morning, a couple in the evening... Hopefully the inhaler help. Madds? Hates the mask. We're trying to make it fun, but it's not pleasant and she gets upset. So things are returning to normal. We have our happy girl back!

This weekend was the time change weekend. I was dreading this weekend. Last year Maddy woke at some crazy time like the new 530am, making the entire day a write-off.  This year? Because Maddy has been wanting to sleep in of late (catching up?) she slept until 730am the NEW time!! That isn't bad at all, to wake up at! Wow... I typed joy at waking up at 730am, on a Sunday. Motherhood changes you. For the better. Or at least the more early waking. We'll see how the rest of the week goes. She had a short nap and was ready for bed early tonight.

To end on the Maddy-isms to record... How she walks into a room now, and announces "HAI E-BODY!" for hi everybody! And how much she loves looking for the moon, and announcing it to us. Neil and I will be looking all over. And it's always somewhere, when she says hi to it. Or how she is starting to give commands to the dogs. No, sit, sing, enough, quiet... Or how, just today, she "I luff you" as she looked at me. How verbal she is, how fabulous it is to be able to communicate with her. How much I love that little person that I helped to make. How much better my life is, with her here.

Even if there is nothing profound to type, I am going to try and type more often. This month is NaBloPoMo (a month to blog daily). I am late to start, but will try to be better. Bear with me, I feel... rusty.