Monday, December 26, 2011

Month twenty-three letter

My little Maddster,

Twenty-three months ago, exactly, you were 1 hour-ish old and I was completely in love you with you. I was scared and overwhelmed and in pain and so so hungry. But most importantly, I was in love with you and so excited to be your mom. And still I love you with everything I am and still I am so excited to be your mom. And now in ONE month you will be 2. We aren't planning a big party for you this year. It'll just be you, me, dad, baba and dido, I think. We'll have a nice dinner and open a few gifts. And spend time together and be family.  And I'll sit in an awed stupor that I am the mother of a 2 year old.

This month, Maddy, you turned your tantrum game up and up and up! You were losing it almost daily, with any transition. Getting to daycare was hard, leaving daycare was hard, going out at night was hard. I think a lot of it was us, Madds. We weren't explaining things well enough for you to understand what was happening. We'd just suddenly grab you and as you were being wrestled into a jacket we'd be explaining it to you. And that was just too late, you were already confused. Now we're giving you more time, and you are doing better. and we're explaining more. You get it. You get what\s happening to you and you want to have some sense of control over your world. And we're trying.

The last few days, over Christmas, you did wonderfully! You were friendly and social and funny and sweet. You ran the entire time and were into everything and ate too many sweets. But you were wonderful (spoiler for future post that has been started and not yet finished).

Otherwise this last month has been filled with even more words and talking. There has been the alphabet sung and we have 1 through 10 pretty much down (sometimes 4 still gets ignored). And so many new words. I think I still stare at you daily in awe at another word you said. You also now sing with us, in your slightly off key voice. For Christmas you got a drum and guitar (and a tambourine and shakers) and you love to make music. You were wandering around the house yesterday playing the drumsticks on the floor and the cupboards and my leg, testing out sounds.

So many words to just say how wonderful you are, Maddy, and how much we love you. Maddy, you are the best and we love you with every ounce of our being. And in one month, you will be two whole years old. and our minds will be blown.

I love you, Maddster.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

Then and now

Last year, Maddy and Santa. Same Santa, so it's definitely the kiddo that grew (not a smaller Santa).

And this year.

Notice Odg? And the no boots and jacket? *sigh*

And because we still love them too!


I have been ignoring you, little blog. A lot of it comes down to balance and time. To keep some balance, there never seems to be time to write. And I feel rusty. I feel... unable. I'll try to put something in writing.

We're also getting deeply into the terrible twos and so the stories aren't always sweet or fun. Sometimes it's all about ear piercing screaming losing-of-the-mind meltdowns. Like today, when we were SO MEAN and made you put boots and your coat on, Maddy, when we were leaving the mall. Or when we leave daycare. Or when we try to leave for the mall. Transitions? We're not doing well with those right now.

But then there are also the awesome stories of you. Today, when reading, I was asking you what things on the page were. And your response wasn't just "turtle" or "sun". But instead "It's sun" or "It's turtle. Running turtle!" Or tonight as I lay on my stomach on the floor and tried to close my eyes for 2 minutes (sleepy day) and you laid on the floor with me, nose to nose, and said "Mommy! No sleeping. WAKE UP!". You are so real in how you react to the world. Everything is big and natural.

You are talking up a storm Madds. You are so very tall (in 3T clothes). You still obsessively love the Wiggles (everything else is meaningless). You love your Little People dolls, and announce to us "BOY" or "GIRL" with great frequency. You are a good eater, as long as you are allowed to graze all day long. Meals? They are not the highlight of your eating day. You love "DIP" especially with pizza. You know what you want. Raising, puffs, goldfish. Today you asked for milk. I offered you milk or almond milk. You said "awmon miwk" and happily drank away.

Last night, after you went to bed Dad and I put up the tree. I left it lit all night so that I could bring you into the room and see your reaction to the tree. I brought you in and you looked around. And the first thing you noticed was your table and chair in a new place. And that there was a new "TE-EEE BEER!" on the table. There was MUCH excitement over the little mouse stuffie with a santa hat on. Then you looked at the BALLOOONS on the tree and then noticed the Pooh ornament and the Dolly ornament and well, those were all awesome. And the 3 presents under the tree were ignored, except for a comment about SANTA, the wrapping on one gift.

Today we took you to see Santa. You did NOT want to leave the house. You used to be a kid that would lose her mind if we didn't get out of the house. Now you lose your mind if we try to get you out of the house... But we got you there. Despite it being a shorter line, you were insisting on DOWN by the time we arrived there. You slowly approached Santa and accepted the candy he gave you. Then gave it back... We put you on his lap and you didn't cry, but you didn't smile. You looked at us, looked at him... finally we got a little smile, the picture was taken and we were off! Off to a meltdown and a screaming-at-the-top-of-lungs meltdown all the way to the car. Luckily both us parents find it more funny than embarrassing - we just accept it and move on (quickly). I was a little disappointed that we weren't able to go to Tim's for the promised TEEM BEET (and a smoothie for me). But no one needed the baby banshee in their midst.

Maddy, it's harder with you now, but you are still the most amazing and wonderful and perfect addition to our lives. You make everything louder and busier and better than I ever could have imagined.

Let's hope this writing thing becomes a habit again (along with taking SOME pictures - I have been so bad at pictures). Let's hope I can also remember how to write to a blog and a blog audience instead of just letters to you. Let's hope, since we're hoping so much, that I can actually get everything done for Christmas by Christmas! I SHOULD be finishing Christmas cards right now... Bah! So many directions to be pulled in, so little sleep...