This weekend I was cleaning out our bedroom. We have SO MUCH STUFF. And I don't want to have so much stuff. So I was trying to get rid of... stuff. Instead of adding to the "get rid of" pile, I took a few things out. Oops. But I did find a very very old journal. And read a few (horribly embarrassing) pages. And then I remembered why I started this blog in the first place.
My memory SUCKS.
As I read the words in this journal, I had absolutely no recollection at ALL of the things I said I did. I mean, there wasn't even a glimmer of "oh yah!". Just.... REALLY?! I did WHAT? When?
Me...?
This isn't a new lesson. I guess I just... forgot... how bad my memory is. And why I wanted this online journal to capture everything that I see in you, everything that I want you to know about you growing up. So, I am going to re-commit to writing. Hopefully.
If I remember.
This week we had the 3 year check up. And, Maddy, you were an old PRO at the doctor's office. You said "aaaah!" and let him look in your ears and listen to your heart and breathing. You were awesome. And in the waiting room you behaved (although you commented on everything around you). But you are pretty tall and still quite heavy. And you are perfectly, wonderfully, BEAUTIFULLY healthy.
About me? I am in a state of flux. I was in a job I loved, that I gave everything I had (including my health) to. And when the job was posted in a more permanent capacity, I applied. Didn't get the job. And this broke my heart. Now I am watching the work I did... change. The things I set in place, change. So much change. And none of those hours of effort, sleepless nights, stress, evenings and weekend are even there anymore. Which has helped my put it all into perspective. What matters is Maddy. And Neil. And Walter. And family and friends. And taking care of me. Work is just what happens to pay the bills for the things that matter. So now I am waiting to see what happens next. In a strange holding pattern.
Although as I write these words I am reminded that while I wait, life still happens. So instead of participating in, I am opting out. And that also is a lesson I have learned before - that life happens as I wait, and I miss so much. Still, I feel powerless to move.
Or maybe it's just the head cold. Such a nasty cold!
Time will tell. I just hope I remember to write it down.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Months thirty-five and the big ole thirty-six
Dearest Maddy,
Or, as you prefer to be called now, Diego. Pronounced DJE-go (like Charlotte says). Oh, and this letter will need to be signed by Alicia. Because I am not mommy anymore. And Odg? Baby jaguar. Daddy? Daddy Jaguar. At least his is close. You, my love ("I AM NOT MY LOVE! I AM DJE-GO!!). Yes, yes... Djego. You are amazing!
Oh how to capture you now?
You are a very determined little girl. You know who you are (Djego), what you like, what you expect, what you want. And you are still completely unafraid to scream bloody murder if you don't get your way. But in this determination is such strength and confidence! You are using that determination to try to read (your first word read was raft, then tag). Then you got a little shy about sounding out words. But have no problem informing us that the numbers on our garage? They spell "Maddy's house". Or often "Djego's house". You also use this determination to resist potty training. And we have stopped pushing it. I am pretty sure you won't be in diapers forever. Pretty sure...
This weekend we held your third birthday party, on Saturday. It was exhausting to plan it all and make it all happen. But the look on your face when you walked out of your room to a house decorated for your birthday? Worth every single second of effort!
And then the guests started coming! And the PRESENTS!! And friends and family and cousins... And you were loving every second of it! Until you saw something we did not prepare you for.
Someone else was playing with YOUR TOYS!
And you lost it. Screamed and screamed (even adults covered their ears). We went into your room, calmed you done and tried to explain it all. And then slowly integrated you back into the party. With kids playing with your toys. But then you and a friend? You played TANGLE (which was beating on the helium balloons until the bunch... tangled. While I held them. And got hit in the head, repeatedly. Until I had a headache.) But oh the JOY in both your screams and laughs! So worth the minor brain damage. Really.
But you got to blow out the candle on your ice cream cone cupcake (most amazingest way to serve cupcakes to toddlers ever).
And everyone ate (too much) candy and sweets - the theme was candy! What did you expect me to serve?
You will be moving to the playschool room as soon as there is space. Which is crazy to me. That you are almost in PLAYSCHOOL. Next thing you will be in grade 1, then driving, then in university, then married with kids... In a blink it'll fly by. Which is why I am trying everything I can to live in the moment with you. Just enjoy the awesome that you are (even when it isn't going well).
Because Maddy, no matter what anyone says, society says, those insecurities deep inside say to you as you age? You. Are. Awesome. Period. Listen to your mother. Er, you Alicia...
I looking forward to chronicling the adventures of three (and four and five until infinity!).
I love you so much my Maddy,
--mommy
Or, as you prefer to be called now, Diego. Pronounced DJE-go (like Charlotte says). Oh, and this letter will need to be signed by Alicia. Because I am not mommy anymore. And Odg? Baby jaguar. Daddy? Daddy Jaguar. At least his is close. You, my love ("I AM NOT MY LOVE! I AM DJE-GO!!). Yes, yes... Djego. You are amazing!
Oh how to capture you now?
You are a very determined little girl. You know who you are (Djego), what you like, what you expect, what you want. And you are still completely unafraid to scream bloody murder if you don't get your way. But in this determination is such strength and confidence! You are using that determination to try to read (your first word read was raft, then tag). Then you got a little shy about sounding out words. But have no problem informing us that the numbers on our garage? They spell "Maddy's house". Or often "Djego's house". You also use this determination to resist potty training. And we have stopped pushing it. I am pretty sure you won't be in diapers forever. Pretty sure...
This weekend we held your third birthday party, on Saturday. It was exhausting to plan it all and make it all happen. But the look on your face when you walked out of your room to a house decorated for your birthday? Worth every single second of effort!
And then the guests started coming! And the PRESENTS!! And friends and family and cousins... And you were loving every second of it! Until you saw something we did not prepare you for.
Someone else was playing with YOUR TOYS!
And you lost it. Screamed and screamed (even adults covered their ears). We went into your room, calmed you done and tried to explain it all. And then slowly integrated you back into the party. With kids playing with your toys. But then you and a friend? You played TANGLE (which was beating on the helium balloons until the bunch... tangled. While I held them. And got hit in the head, repeatedly. Until I had a headache.) But oh the JOY in both your screams and laughs! So worth the minor brain damage. Really.
But you got to blow out the candle on your ice cream cone cupcake (most amazingest way to serve cupcakes to toddlers ever).
And everyone ate (too much) candy and sweets - the theme was candy! What did you expect me to serve?
You will be moving to the playschool room as soon as there is space. Which is crazy to me. That you are almost in PLAYSCHOOL. Next thing you will be in grade 1, then driving, then in university, then married with kids... In a blink it'll fly by. Which is why I am trying everything I can to live in the moment with you. Just enjoy the awesome that you are (even when it isn't going well).
Because Maddy, no matter what anyone says, society says, those insecurities deep inside say to you as you age? You. Are. Awesome. Period. Listen to your mother. Er, you Alicia...
I looking forward to chronicling the adventures of three (and four and five until infinity!).
I love you so much my Maddy,
--mommy
Monday, December 17, 2012
Month thirty-two, thirty-three, AND thirty-four
My Maddy,
Well. Hmm... Nearly 4 months late. And there is really no excuse (that isn't cliche). Everyday I check my email, everyday I see the MULTIPLE month reminders to write this letter and everyday I can't figure out how to start. And today I am starting.
We are VERY quickly approaching your third Christmas! And this year you are starting to get it. Every morning you wake up and look at the still lit Christmas tree and say quietly, "Oooohh... it's Kwistmas Day!" with awe in your voice. And I always say not yet. And you smile and happily go about your day. We haven't emphasized the whole gift part of Christmas this year. Seeing Santa was about visiting and getting candy, not about what gifts you wanted. So the REAL Christmas morning is gonna blow your mind. We spoiled you just a little. Baba and Dido may have gone a bit more overboard... they probably did. We'll see in a week.
This year, though, you helped us decorate the tree. Every time you put an ornament on the tree you proudly exclaimed "I DID IT!" and then came in for a high-five. You also were pro at handing ornaments to baba and dido, then telling them where to hang everything. So much personality, Maddy. So much joy at life and smiles for everyone.
I re-read the last post, and you have grown up so very much since then my love. You are now developmentally ready for pre-school (you'll be starting in the new year) and you can follow simple instructions and are starting to get time sequences (we'll do this, then that, then a third thing). You take your socks off, and put them on. Take your coat off and put it on. Although still you are reluctant to make transitions if you are not told what to expect. Go with the flow, you are not. But let the idea sit in your head and moments (sometimes literally moments) later you are good to go.
You know all letters and their sounds, for the most part. Sometime you miss that some letters have 2 sounds, but will still get one of the two sounds. You spell out words you see, on TV, in books, as we're driving. You LOVE counting things now. "Mommy only TWO hands!", "Mommy, dere are TREE dogs". Along with counting comes holding your fingers up, to indicate the number of items you see. Adorable! You can count the 29, but sometimes get caught on thirty (calling it twenty-ten). Counting to 29 was easy for you, I was going 21, 22, 23... and you recognized the pattern and finished for me - which is the reason for the twenty-ten.
We aren't into the "why" as much yet. When we ask why you seem unsure what to say:
"Mommy! I am VEWY upset!"
"Why are you upset Maddy?"
"Because.. the basket... didn't go... to outer space... on an egg..."
"Oh... right. Of course?"
Although you do know when you are upset or scared and tell us how you are feeling. The last few nights you have had nightmares, which have upset you greatly. Again, not able to tell us what they were about, it was just so apparent that you were heartbreakingly sad.
You still love to snuggle next to me and watch videos on youtube. And you still love elephant movie. Although there are others we watch now, like French (aka Shrek 2) and Madagascar. But now you play with us. You love to get us to "shit the ball" (aka shoot, aka throw/roll in random directions). You love to make daddy play cooking with you, on your tiny little play kitchen. And you are still content to play off, by yourself. Making up games and stories and "reading" books.
Along with the fun, I am also trying to instill in you some chores. When you get home you are asked to take your coat to the front door. Most of the time you just bring back the coat and the hanger to me, when I am still at the back door. But it's a start! You also turn the light on in the living room. And daddy taught you how to use a flashlight to turn the overhead light on in your room (although off is still a challenge). You insist on going into the fridge to your your own snacks and milk (and opening the milk jug, then often licking the lid. We don't give your milk to guests...). You will only wear white socks now. Colours and patterns are forbidden. And you will only wear your daycare shoes and one pair of boots. Which you actually had a fit when we put on, but the sneakers in the snow? Not gonna cut it.
All this to say, your independent streak is really starting! Although it's not SO bad that we can't often distract, distract, distract (and get our way). For now. Only for now. I know it will not last. And? I am really ok with that. I have a girl who isn't yet a pushover, who isn't yet told by society what she can and cannot do. What she can be. I need to hold on that, on to her stubborn independence, and nurture it. Everything else will be busy trying to break it...
Maddy, my girl. I love you endlessly. Always know that you will always be loved.
Forever,
-mommy
Well. Hmm... Nearly 4 months late. And there is really no excuse (that isn't cliche). Everyday I check my email, everyday I see the MULTIPLE month reminders to write this letter and everyday I can't figure out how to start. And today I am starting.
We are VERY quickly approaching your third Christmas! And this year you are starting to get it. Every morning you wake up and look at the still lit Christmas tree and say quietly, "Oooohh... it's Kwistmas Day!" with awe in your voice. And I always say not yet. And you smile and happily go about your day. We haven't emphasized the whole gift part of Christmas this year. Seeing Santa was about visiting and getting candy, not about what gifts you wanted. So the REAL Christmas morning is gonna blow your mind. We spoiled you just a little. Baba and Dido may have gone a bit more overboard... they probably did. We'll see in a week.
Santa 2012!
This year, though, you helped us decorate the tree. Every time you put an ornament on the tree you proudly exclaimed "I DID IT!" and then came in for a high-five. You also were pro at handing ornaments to baba and dido, then telling them where to hang everything. So much personality, Maddy. So much joy at life and smiles for everyone.
Putting up the tree
I re-read the last post, and you have grown up so very much since then my love. You are now developmentally ready for pre-school (you'll be starting in the new year) and you can follow simple instructions and are starting to get time sequences (we'll do this, then that, then a third thing). You take your socks off, and put them on. Take your coat off and put it on. Although still you are reluctant to make transitions if you are not told what to expect. Go with the flow, you are not. But let the idea sit in your head and moments (sometimes literally moments) later you are good to go.
Two and a half on the left and one and a half on the right.
You know all letters and their sounds, for the most part. Sometime you miss that some letters have 2 sounds, but will still get one of the two sounds. You spell out words you see, on TV, in books, as we're driving. You LOVE counting things now. "Mommy only TWO hands!", "Mommy, dere are TREE dogs". Along with counting comes holding your fingers up, to indicate the number of items you see. Adorable! You can count the 29, but sometimes get caught on thirty (calling it twenty-ten). Counting to 29 was easy for you, I was going 21, 22, 23... and you recognized the pattern and finished for me - which is the reason for the twenty-ten.
We aren't into the "why" as much yet. When we ask why you seem unsure what to say:
"Mommy! I am VEWY upset!"
"Why are you upset Maddy?"
"Because.. the basket... didn't go... to outer space... on an egg..."
"Oh... right. Of course?"
My girl.
Although you do know when you are upset or scared and tell us how you are feeling. The last few nights you have had nightmares, which have upset you greatly. Again, not able to tell us what they were about, it was just so apparent that you were heartbreakingly sad.
You still love to snuggle next to me and watch videos on youtube. And you still love elephant movie. Although there are others we watch now, like French (aka Shrek 2) and Madagascar. But now you play with us. You love to get us to "shit the ball" (aka shoot, aka throw/roll in random directions). You love to make daddy play cooking with you, on your tiny little play kitchen. And you are still content to play off, by yourself. Making up games and stories and "reading" books.
Along with the fun, I am also trying to instill in you some chores. When you get home you are asked to take your coat to the front door. Most of the time you just bring back the coat and the hanger to me, when I am still at the back door. But it's a start! You also turn the light on in the living room. And daddy taught you how to use a flashlight to turn the overhead light on in your room (although off is still a challenge). You insist on going into the fridge to your your own snacks and milk (and opening the milk jug, then often licking the lid. We don't give your milk to guests...). You will only wear white socks now. Colours and patterns are forbidden. And you will only wear your daycare shoes and one pair of boots. Which you actually had a fit when we put on, but the sneakers in the snow? Not gonna cut it.
All this to say, your independent streak is really starting! Although it's not SO bad that we can't often distract, distract, distract (and get our way). For now. Only for now. I know it will not last. And? I am really ok with that. I have a girl who isn't yet a pushover, who isn't yet told by society what she can and cannot do. What she can be. I need to hold on that, on to her stubborn independence, and nurture it. Everything else will be busy trying to break it...
Maddy, my girl. I love you endlessly. Always know that you will always be loved.
Forever,
-mommy
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Month Thirty One
Maddy. My dear Maddy.
I did it! I managed to write ON your month-day!! YAY!
You are, right now, singing and kicking your walls in your room. And demanding cereal and/or milk. Instead of napping. On a day where it is obvious to me (and anyone who watches you for more than 10 seconds - because you would have had at least one meltdown in that period), you need sleep. You have had an amazingly busy week with baba and dido babysitting you. And then a missed nap due to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese (which you, incidentally loved). And nightmares last night (3 from 550am to 730am). Tonight is going to be challenging.
But this last month. You are again changing by the hour. Your have expanded your movie interests. Bird movie (aka Rio) is a hit. Your are interacting more with your toys and more imaginative games. You are expressing interest in crafts now. You love colouring with markers, on paper and your belly and cheek. I love washable markers.. best invention ever. You still don't get knock knock jokes, but your punch lines are much more descriptive now. You love to "play" and demand that we join along but you are also able to play by yourself for long periods of time, if we have guests or mommy is cooking or busy on the computer. Although you still love to join me on the computer (and ask for "Lolli-POP, Lolli-POP" aka YouTube).
I just went in, to try to calm you. I held you and jiggled you like I did when you were a baby. But you are anything but anymore. Your torso was the length of mine, your legs dangling off to the side. But your eyes became heavy as I sang and rocked you. Just like when you were my baby.... Until I laid you down, and that is when the screaming and wailing and demanding and negotiating started. This is one battle, though, that I cannot lose my love. You will be unbearable tonight without even a short nap. And your dad has been in a course all weekend, and he won't have the energy to thwart your meltdowns. And after a full day at home with you, neither will I. Oh, what is that I hear? Nothing? Silence? Can you have... maybe?
Next weekend we're hitting the road, to Saskatchewan to visit family. After 2 weeks away from daycare and at home with baba. Well, rarely home with baba - she has you out and about every day! But then we'll get back into the routine. Back to normal. Daycare and regular naps and regular dinner and regular. I think we'll all need that. I have a very busy few months at work, which includes some travel (3 trips) and time away from you. Until the crazy really hits I'll need routine.
Maddy, you are so perfectly you. And (I think) so perfectly sleeping you... thank you for this nap, Nunu.
Mommy loves you. Even when you're a grump. For always.
--mommy
I did it! I managed to write ON your month-day!! YAY!
You are, right now, singing and kicking your walls in your room. And demanding cereal and/or milk. Instead of napping. On a day where it is obvious to me (and anyone who watches you for more than 10 seconds - because you would have had at least one meltdown in that period), you need sleep. You have had an amazingly busy week with baba and dido babysitting you. And then a missed nap due to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese (which you, incidentally loved). And nightmares last night (3 from 550am to 730am). Tonight is going to be challenging.
But this last month. You are again changing by the hour. Your have expanded your movie interests. Bird movie (aka Rio) is a hit. Your are interacting more with your toys and more imaginative games. You are expressing interest in crafts now. You love colouring with markers, on paper and your belly and cheek. I love washable markers.. best invention ever. You still don't get knock knock jokes, but your punch lines are much more descriptive now. You love to "play" and demand that we join along but you are also able to play by yourself for long periods of time, if we have guests or mommy is cooking or busy on the computer. Although you still love to join me on the computer (and ask for "Lolli-POP, Lolli-POP" aka YouTube).
I just went in, to try to calm you. I held you and jiggled you like I did when you were a baby. But you are anything but anymore. Your torso was the length of mine, your legs dangling off to the side. But your eyes became heavy as I sang and rocked you. Just like when you were my baby.... Until I laid you down, and that is when the screaming and wailing and demanding and negotiating started. This is one battle, though, that I cannot lose my love. You will be unbearable tonight without even a short nap. And your dad has been in a course all weekend, and he won't have the energy to thwart your meltdowns. And after a full day at home with you, neither will I. Oh, what is that I hear? Nothing? Silence? Can you have... maybe?
Next weekend we're hitting the road, to Saskatchewan to visit family. After 2 weeks away from daycare and at home with baba. Well, rarely home with baba - she has you out and about every day! But then we'll get back into the routine. Back to normal. Daycare and regular naps and regular dinner and regular. I think we'll all need that. I have a very busy few months at work, which includes some travel (3 trips) and time away from you. Until the crazy really hits I'll need routine.
Maddy, you are so perfectly you. And (I think) so perfectly sleeping you... thank you for this nap, Nunu.
Mommy loves you. Even when you're a grump. For always.
--mommy
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Month Twenty-nine AND Thirty
My dear Maddy,
I am really good at missing these letters right now. There were SO many times I almost started typing. But instead I surfed the internet or watched TV or just sat like a big lump on the couch and didn't. Not that I haven't written this post in my head hundreds of times. Or that I don't think everything you do is mind-blowingly awesome, but just I am... trying to stay balanced. And some balance means being still and a little disengaged.
OK. Month 29? Maybe the highlights have passed through my memory. But some things I want to remember... Me witnessing you have a conversation with a peer. A girl, in the preschool room. You said hi, asked her what she had, and said it was pretty. All I stood there, mouth agape. You are so much more interactive with other kids and are starting to actually play with them, not just by them.
Another thing you love to interact with? My driving. You are QUITE the little backseat driver. "Turn the wheel now please" as I wait to turn left. And you always seems to want to steer me right into oncoming traffic... Or wailing "GREEN MEANS GO" as you see a green light - for the cars perpendicular to us. And when you have had enough? "One, Two, Tree - GO. MOMMY ONE TWO TREE GOOOO". Again, normally you are trying to get me to go through the stopped car ahead of me. It's abundantly clear why 2 years olds are NOT allowed to drive.
You LOVE movies now. It was all Tangled and Winnie the Pooh, but now it's "Elephant Movie" (aka Dumbo). Which I actually never liked as a kid, and still really don't. We're trying to lure you into others like Little Mermaid (Ariel movie) or Toy Story (Toy Movie) or Lion King or Cars or Peter Pan... but you stubbornly hold true to elephant movie. But we sometimes slip another film in and I am enjoying catching up on the Disney movies. Cars? Good show!
Although I have to say the cutest Maddy-ism is the new way you say yes. "Me too". There is rarely a yes to be had, but instead "Maddy, do you want to watch the elephant movie? ME TOO!" or "Maddy, you just fell, are you alright? Me too, mommy". It's a little confusing at times, but still adorable. I think I am going to miss this one a lot... Other Maddy-isms? For a few hours you said chimpanzee as "pink-pan-cheese". Although you have it perfectly now. And shrimp used to be trumpets, but no longer. Spaghetti used to be "Messy-kitties" but then it's morphed to "Passy-ghetti". We still, however, "clink" things with the mouse, on the computer (instead of click) and
You are growing. You are TALL. Although we still can't convince you to give up your high chair or your diapers. Potty training you frightens me, until you are ready. Asking you to do it before you want? I can't see anything good coming of that, stubborn one.
Yesterday we took you to Heritage Days, your third one! And it was... not good. You had a rough nap (if you even slept) and were grumpy and demanding. Oh so demanding! We spent about 1.5 hours there and most of it was spent trying to keep you calm. Very little chance to eat or see much of anything... I am starting to think that the best time to take you out isn't after your nap anymore - maybe before lunch is better. Not every moment is easy, not every outing is perfect. But oh, my Maddy, you are always perfectly loved. Always.
Right now you are nestled next to me, sucking your thumb and holding Odg and watching videos on YouTube. Right now you you love toy commercials, watching dogs pop balloons (or most things about balloons) and kids playing in ball pits. I dunno... I just clink where I am told to.
Every day with you, Maddy, is an adventure. I love you so much my dear.
--mommy
I am really good at missing these letters right now. There were SO many times I almost started typing. But instead I surfed the internet or watched TV or just sat like a big lump on the couch and didn't. Not that I haven't written this post in my head hundreds of times. Or that I don't think everything you do is mind-blowingly awesome, but just I am... trying to stay balanced. And some balance means being still and a little disengaged.
OK. Month 29? Maybe the highlights have passed through my memory. But some things I want to remember... Me witnessing you have a conversation with a peer. A girl, in the preschool room. You said hi, asked her what she had, and said it was pretty. All I stood there, mouth agape. You are so much more interactive with other kids and are starting to actually play with them, not just by them.
Another thing you love to interact with? My driving. You are QUITE the little backseat driver. "Turn the wheel now please" as I wait to turn left. And you always seems to want to steer me right into oncoming traffic... Or wailing "GREEN MEANS GO" as you see a green light - for the cars perpendicular to us. And when you have had enough? "One, Two, Tree - GO. MOMMY ONE TWO TREE GOOOO". Again, normally you are trying to get me to go through the stopped car ahead of me. It's abundantly clear why 2 years olds are NOT allowed to drive.
You LOVE movies now. It was all Tangled and Winnie the Pooh, but now it's "Elephant Movie" (aka Dumbo). Which I actually never liked as a kid, and still really don't. We're trying to lure you into others like Little Mermaid (Ariel movie) or Toy Story (Toy Movie) or Lion King or Cars or Peter Pan... but you stubbornly hold true to elephant movie. But we sometimes slip another film in and I am enjoying catching up on the Disney movies. Cars? Good show!
Although I have to say the cutest Maddy-ism is the new way you say yes. "Me too". There is rarely a yes to be had, but instead "Maddy, do you want to watch the elephant movie? ME TOO!" or "Maddy, you just fell, are you alright? Me too, mommy". It's a little confusing at times, but still adorable. I think I am going to miss this one a lot... Other Maddy-isms? For a few hours you said chimpanzee as "pink-pan-cheese". Although you have it perfectly now. And shrimp used to be trumpets, but no longer. Spaghetti used to be "Messy-kitties" but then it's morphed to "Passy-ghetti". We still, however, "clink" things with the mouse, on the computer (instead of click) and
You are growing. You are TALL. Although we still can't convince you to give up your high chair or your diapers. Potty training you frightens me, until you are ready. Asking you to do it before you want? I can't see anything good coming of that, stubborn one.
Yesterday we took you to Heritage Days, your third one! And it was... not good. You had a rough nap (if you even slept) and were grumpy and demanding. Oh so demanding! We spent about 1.5 hours there and most of it was spent trying to keep you calm. Very little chance to eat or see much of anything... I am starting to think that the best time to take you out isn't after your nap anymore - maybe before lunch is better. Not every moment is easy, not every outing is perfect. But oh, my Maddy, you are always perfectly loved. Always.
Right now you are nestled next to me, sucking your thumb and holding Odg and watching videos on YouTube. Right now you you love toy commercials, watching dogs pop balloons (or most things about balloons) and kids playing in ball pits. I dunno... I just clink where I am told to.
Every day with you, Maddy, is an adventure. I love you so much my dear.
--mommy
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Month twenty-eight letter
Hello my little love!
Well, here I am - late as usual. I even put this in my calendar of things to do on Saturday. But instead something much more important came up - spending the day hanging out with you. We played outside and watched videos and TV and read books. So much more fun than writing!
This last month has flown by. Although so many are flying by now...
You continue to be absolutely, unequivocally AMAZING my Nunu. You are doing really well in daycare and spend much of your time in the preschool room, where you are learning so very much. Your language and ideas are blossoming. You love to point to things and ask "What's dat?". We'll often answer, but if I know you know... then I say "I don't know. What is that?" and you answer with great pride. You're also getting a better grasp of your physicality and now want to walk up and down the stairs yourself (although do better with a hand to hold). And do so much more on your own. Luckily we aren't at the point where you want to dress yourself, but that is coming. And I have to admit to looking forward to the outfits you will create!
The hardest thing right now for you is transitions. This was most apparent on our trip to Jasper (which was a great time, but exhausting too). You did really well up until the point we had to change. Fun at the lake throwing rocks! When it was time to move on? Meltdown. Fun at the playground going down the slide over and over and over. Time for lunch and to leave? Meltdown. Fun playing in the courtyard of the hotel, hiding behind the pillars and dancing. Time to leave? Meltdown. Actually, the best behaved on that trip was Walter - he was a stellar travelling companion! He snuggled on mom's lap the entire time and even napped some.
Some stories about you... things I don't want to forget...
One evening you were being a grump. Your dad and I were in the kitchen as you wandered in and whined for something. I am not even sure we could understand you - you wanted something and you were past the point of patience even before you walked in the room. We then kind of mocked you by mimicking your intonation... And then you showed us. You stopped, looked us in the eye and said "That's not nice!". And, no, it wasn't nice at all. Schooled by our 2 year old!
Or how you say Pablo as "PLA-blo", garbage as "grab-age", face cloth is a "BAFF clop", when we ask "What time is it" at your bedtime and get "Time a NAP-time!", or listening to you sing yourself to sleep with Wheels on the Bus or the alphabet or the song your dad sings to you each night... And I know there is more that I wanted to capture, things that were too important to forget that are already being crowded out with everything else that needs to fit in there.
My lunch is over and I must write another briefing note today. Third one's a charm! But I love you Maddy. Happy 28 months, my love.
Mom.
Well, here I am - late as usual. I even put this in my calendar of things to do on Saturday. But instead something much more important came up - spending the day hanging out with you. We played outside and watched videos and TV and read books. So much more fun than writing!
This last month has flown by. Although so many are flying by now...
You continue to be absolutely, unequivocally AMAZING my Nunu. You are doing really well in daycare and spend much of your time in the preschool room, where you are learning so very much. Your language and ideas are blossoming. You love to point to things and ask "What's dat?". We'll often answer, but if I know you know... then I say "I don't know. What is that?" and you answer with great pride. You're also getting a better grasp of your physicality and now want to walk up and down the stairs yourself (although do better with a hand to hold). And do so much more on your own. Luckily we aren't at the point where you want to dress yourself, but that is coming. And I have to admit to looking forward to the outfits you will create!
The hardest thing right now for you is transitions. This was most apparent on our trip to Jasper (which was a great time, but exhausting too). You did really well up until the point we had to change. Fun at the lake throwing rocks! When it was time to move on? Meltdown. Fun at the playground going down the slide over and over and over. Time for lunch and to leave? Meltdown. Fun playing in the courtyard of the hotel, hiding behind the pillars and dancing. Time to leave? Meltdown. Actually, the best behaved on that trip was Walter - he was a stellar travelling companion! He snuggled on mom's lap the entire time and even napped some.
Some stories about you... things I don't want to forget...
One evening you were being a grump. Your dad and I were in the kitchen as you wandered in and whined for something. I am not even sure we could understand you - you wanted something and you were past the point of patience even before you walked in the room. We then kind of mocked you by mimicking your intonation... And then you showed us. You stopped, looked us in the eye and said "That's not nice!". And, no, it wasn't nice at all. Schooled by our 2 year old!
Or how you say Pablo as "PLA-blo", garbage as "grab-age", face cloth is a "BAFF clop", when we ask "What time is it" at your bedtime and get "Time a NAP-time!", or listening to you sing yourself to sleep with Wheels on the Bus or the alphabet or the song your dad sings to you each night... And I know there is more that I wanted to capture, things that were too important to forget that are already being crowded out with everything else that needs to fit in there.
My lunch is over and I must write another briefing note today. Third one's a charm! But I love you Maddy. Happy 28 months, my love.
Mom.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Month... oh which month is this? Letter
My dearest Maddy,
Once again, your mom (I am now mom, not mommy, momma, mama. Mom) forgot to write. AGAIN! I blame life. And that if I don't write it down I cannot for the life of me remember. Like, at all. So I have added it as an appointment to my calendar. Will that guarantee I get it right from now on? Hells to the no. But it does mean I am really really trying. And I think that is the biggest lesson I am learning about being a mom. I won't always get it right, I'll sometimes get it horribly wrong. But I am always always ALWAYS trying.
Always.
And you are always so much a 2 year old. One second overjoyed and laughing and smiling and the next tragically upset because I won't stop cooking dinner so that you can go play upstairs. Or downstairs. Or eat 3 apples at once. Or... anything.
Twenty-seven months. I just counted. Two and one-quarter years old. I have been saying almost two and a half. It's easier (and a little more indicative of your developmental age). You continue to soak up knowledge and words at an amazing rate. You are always putting ideas together, looking for relationships and ways that the new information fits into your existing knowledge base. You still LOVE music and singing. Now you love demanding of us, when we sing, "FASTER!" or "LOUDER!" and the newest "QUIETER!". You love Super Why and Wiggles and Bubble Guppies on TV. We have also graduated to movies - Winnie the Pooh and Tangled (aka ra-PUM-zel). We'll add more when we can PVR them off Movie Central.
I have also started giving you my (now ancient) smartphone, with games and apps on it. You are starting to even get the idea, and request a few over and over. And then coat my phone is a surprisingly tenacious coating of... toddler. Even if I clean your hands before there is just... toddler... all over everything. You like the one where you create and pop balloons and make animals make noise (and robots and instruments). There apps are "baby" apps, but we're starting you off slowly with the tech stuffs.
However, this week we bought a tablet. Initially it was more for you, to play on and amuse yourself. And now your dad (not dada or daddy. Dad.) has adopted it as his own and is having fun with it. Although we are also loading it with games and apps and movies for our impending trip.
What trip? Our first road trip! Well, second really. But you were 5 months old the first time. Wait - third. You were 13 months the second one. And now this one. Third, for certain. This time we're going to Jasper. Deets to come, after we return. I am starting frantic planning mode and have arranged for driving over nap times and meals in the hotel and a possible pack and play if you won't sleep in the bed and outdoor and indoor activities we can do with you. And with a dido that is on crutches and in a cast from a surgery 9-ish weeks ago. And the dog.
Oy.
Panic.
SO MUCH PLANNING TO DO BEFORE WE GO!
Luckily there is time.
I just hope you have some fun and bring more of your happy-mood, and less of your grumpy-mood. And that you don't fall off a mountain. Or into a lake. Or get eaten by a bear. Those dangers ever present in the wilds of a national park.
Happy 27 months (plus 6 days) my sweetest, most perfectly nunu-like Nunu ever.
I love you,
Mom.
Once again, your mom (I am now mom, not mommy, momma, mama. Mom) forgot to write. AGAIN! I blame life. And that if I don't write it down I cannot for the life of me remember. Like, at all. So I have added it as an appointment to my calendar. Will that guarantee I get it right from now on? Hells to the no. But it does mean I am really really trying. And I think that is the biggest lesson I am learning about being a mom. I won't always get it right, I'll sometimes get it horribly wrong. But I am always always ALWAYS trying.
Always.
And you are always so much a 2 year old. One second overjoyed and laughing and smiling and the next tragically upset because I won't stop cooking dinner so that you can go play upstairs. Or downstairs. Or eat 3 apples at once. Or... anything.
Twenty-seven months. I just counted. Two and one-quarter years old. I have been saying almost two and a half. It's easier (and a little more indicative of your developmental age). You continue to soak up knowledge and words at an amazing rate. You are always putting ideas together, looking for relationships and ways that the new information fits into your existing knowledge base. You still LOVE music and singing. Now you love demanding of us, when we sing, "FASTER!" or "LOUDER!" and the newest "QUIETER!". You love Super Why and Wiggles and Bubble Guppies on TV. We have also graduated to movies - Winnie the Pooh and Tangled (aka ra-PUM-zel). We'll add more when we can PVR them off Movie Central.
I have also started giving you my (now ancient) smartphone, with games and apps on it. You are starting to even get the idea, and request a few over and over. And then coat my phone is a surprisingly tenacious coating of... toddler. Even if I clean your hands before there is just... toddler... all over everything. You like the one where you create and pop balloons and make animals make noise (and robots and instruments). There apps are "baby" apps, but we're starting you off slowly with the tech stuffs.
However, this week we bought a tablet. Initially it was more for you, to play on and amuse yourself. And now your dad (not dada or daddy. Dad.) has adopted it as his own and is having fun with it. Although we are also loading it with games and apps and movies for our impending trip.
What trip? Our first road trip! Well, second really. But you were 5 months old the first time. Wait - third. You were 13 months the second one. And now this one. Third, for certain. This time we're going to Jasper. Deets to come, after we return. I am starting frantic planning mode and have arranged for driving over nap times and meals in the hotel and a possible pack and play if you won't sleep in the bed and outdoor and indoor activities we can do with you. And with a dido that is on crutches and in a cast from a surgery 9-ish weeks ago. And the dog.
Oy.
Panic.
SO MUCH PLANNING TO DO BEFORE WE GO!
Luckily there is time.
I just hope you have some fun and bring more of your happy-mood, and less of your grumpy-mood. And that you don't fall off a mountain. Or into a lake. Or get eaten by a bear. Those dangers ever present in the wilds of a national park.
Happy 27 months (plus 6 days) my sweetest, most perfectly nunu-like Nunu ever.
I love you,
Mom.
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