Well, we're still working on Maddy's sleep. She had her bath, got her massage, was supposed to get a book read but she was a little grumpy. She had a small feed and was laid down. And she cried... but it was better again tonight. Although we made yet another change as of last night, we stopped swaddling her. She'd wake in the middle of the night and pull her arms and feet out. If not that, then she'd try to roll on her tummy while her arms were tight to her sides, which makes me have flashes of her little face buried in the mattress of her crib. And this way she can suckle her fingers, if she needs. But no swaddling? It meant a 2am waking. And then a 4am waking. Then up for good at 7am. She hasn't woken twice in one night in... months. But these little changes will mean we will have a little girl who will have healthy sleep habits. She looks exactly like her dad, I hope she falls asleep like him (aka in about 3 minutes). As a child I had a hard time falling asleep. Part of it was that no one really explained that closing your eyes made falling asleep easier... Despite now knowing I should close my eyes, I still have a hard time falling asleep.
Today we had a full day of errands, so Maddy napped on the go, mostly. Other than the 20 minutes she slept in my arms on the couch with me, at baba and dido's. She's a good on-the-go napper, in short amounts. But at home? Sleep is not a thing she's interested in. Oh well, we'll get this all sorted out soon. And now? This way too tired mom needs to sleep herself! G'night!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Night three of CIO
SO much better! About 10 minutes of crying (not wailing) and then one or two awakenings where she fussed then went back down. I am not about to believe this is going to be it, that we have it. But after the last 2 nights of agony this is a welcome respite.
Maddy's a rotating sleeper. She starts with her head at 12 o'clock. By the time fussing stops it's at about 2 o'clock. Before Neil and I went to bed last night it was at 5 o'clock. At 230am, for her feed? at 11 o'clock. The problem is she's almost longer than the crib is wide, which means once I went in there and her little feet were between the crib slats (still in her swaddle).
Today is also the day we switched Maddy to the next level of bottle nipples. For 3-6 months, with a larger opening. It was hard for her at first, she'd almost choke on the increased flow. But by the end of the day she had it pretty well down. It means feeds are MUCH faster and it'll also get her ready for the feeling of the extra-runny solids that she'll be starting in the next month or two. We tried these nipples about a month ago and it was just too much for her. And me. But today we had success!
Tonight the snow is gently falling (yes, I said snow) and I am watching the leaves on the trees get heavy and point to the ground. My husband is making music in the basement, and I can hear the funky notes through the floor. My daughter is peacefully sleeping in her crib, with the occasional sigh coming through the monitor. And I am sitting, drinking wine and reviewing my journey to get to meet Maddy and what has happened since. I am so thankful for this blog, for a place to record my thoughts. And that I can share this adventure with friends and family. For whoever is reading this blog, thank you for coming on this journey with me. And, hey, if you are here, please leave a comment! Let me know who is with me so I won't repeat me stories to you in person too *grin*
Maddy's a rotating sleeper. She starts with her head at 12 o'clock. By the time fussing stops it's at about 2 o'clock. Before Neil and I went to bed last night it was at 5 o'clock. At 230am, for her feed? at 11 o'clock. The problem is she's almost longer than the crib is wide, which means once I went in there and her little feet were between the crib slats (still in her swaddle).
Today is also the day we switched Maddy to the next level of bottle nipples. For 3-6 months, with a larger opening. It was hard for her at first, she'd almost choke on the increased flow. But by the end of the day she had it pretty well down. It means feeds are MUCH faster and it'll also get her ready for the feeling of the extra-runny solids that she'll be starting in the next month or two. We tried these nipples about a month ago and it was just too much for her. And me. But today we had success!
Tonight the snow is gently falling (yes, I said snow) and I am watching the leaves on the trees get heavy and point to the ground. My husband is making music in the basement, and I can hear the funky notes through the floor. My daughter is peacefully sleeping in her crib, with the occasional sigh coming through the monitor. And I am sitting, drinking wine and reviewing my journey to get to meet Maddy and what has happened since. I am so thankful for this blog, for a place to record my thoughts. And that I can share this adventure with friends and family. For whoever is reading this blog, thank you for coming on this journey with me. And, hey, if you are here, please leave a comment! Let me know who is with me so I won't repeat me stories to you in person too *grin*
A riddle
What do you do when you love to roll on to your tummy from your back but hate tummy time?
Why, you grump of course!
Oh Madds, you are always so much fun *grin*
Why, you grump of course!
Oh Madds, you are always so much fun *grin*
Friday, May 28, 2010
Night two of CIO
Well, we had an awesome day today! Had a good nap this morning. Went to lunch with my coworkers to celebrate a friend's wedding. Had a great time catching up! Then went to another friend's to pick up a jogging stroller. And Maddy was sweet all day. We came home and sang and played and had fun. Dad came home and hung with the Maddster. She got a little fussy, showing signs of tired. As she was having a feed she fell asleep. I woke her slightly, laid her down and she was out. About 45 minutes later she woke and cried. I went in to feed her and then laid her down.
And then the crying really started.
It's so hard... I know she's scared, she wants to be held. Biologically she knows being alone is bad. It's instinct. Preservation. And instead of responding to her cries I left her. Alone and upset. She'd stop. And then a few minutes later, louder... more desperate... Neil held me as I cried. It's just so hard to leave her alone. But it's right. I know it's right. It has to be done. She has to learn to fall asleep alone.
Being a parent is hard. It's constant. It's everything. And everything changes.
But look at her! That smile? Makes it all worth it.
And then the crying really started.
It's so hard... I know she's scared, she wants to be held. Biologically she knows being alone is bad. It's instinct. Preservation. And instead of responding to her cries I left her. Alone and upset. She'd stop. And then a few minutes later, louder... more desperate... Neil held me as I cried. It's just so hard to leave her alone. But it's right. I know it's right. It has to be done. She has to learn to fall asleep alone.
Being a parent is hard. It's constant. It's everything. And everything changes.
But look at her! That smile? Makes it all worth it.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Night one of CIO
We are trying to get Maddy's sleep-issues in check, before they get any worse. Our biggest concern is how hard it is to lull her into sleep (swaddled, rocking in the chair and jiggling her while she sucks on a bottle or my finger), then we gently lay her down not to wake her and then sneak out. We'll have to go back at least twice and re-soothe. Tonight? Tonight we laid her down while relaxed but awake and we're letting her put herself to sleep (aka CIO).
We have to do this. She has to learn to put herself to sleep. We need her to, so that we can leave her in the evening without a 2 hour tutorial on how to soothe her. It's been 45 minutes. I think the crying stopped. But the sound of her frantic cries, wanting us to come in and hold her. Be with her... I know this is the right thing. But it's not the EASY thing. Why can't right and easy be the same?
EDIT: As I was typing this she stopped. Damn, it was hard. And tomorrow will be hard too. I hope it'll be shorter than today was. And now I am heading to bed... this has exhausted me.
We have to do this. She has to learn to put herself to sleep. We need her to, so that we can leave her in the evening without a 2 hour tutorial on how to soothe her. It's been 45 minutes. I think the crying stopped. But the sound of her frantic cries, wanting us to come in and hold her. Be with her... I know this is the right thing. But it's not the EASY thing. Why can't right and easy be the same?
EDIT: As I was typing this she stopped. Damn, it was hard. And tomorrow will be hard too. I hope it'll be shorter than today was. And now I am heading to bed... this has exhausted me.
Roll over!
Maddy rolled over, from back to tummy, for the first time today! And the little show off did it in front of company too *grin*
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
She tried to crawl?
Tonight we had Maddy on her tummy, working on tummy time. The little muffin put her head down and then raised her butt in the air and pushed with her feet. She moved. Forward. On her belly. About 1-2 inches. Not far but... sort of like... like initial... CRAWLING. Neil said it was just instinct. But... really? Is it instinct? Or is she refusing to act her age already?! The teenage years are going to be frightening...
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