Friday, May 28, 2010

Night two of CIO

Well, we had an awesome day today! Had a good nap this morning. Went to lunch with my coworkers to celebrate a friend's wedding. Had a great time catching up! Then went to another friend's to pick up a jogging stroller. And Maddy was sweet all day. We came home and sang and played and had fun. Dad came home and hung with the Maddster. She got a little fussy, showing signs of tired. As she was having a feed she fell asleep. I woke her slightly, laid her down and she was out. About 45 minutes later she woke and cried. I went in to feed her and then laid her down.

And then the crying really started.

It's so hard... I know she's scared, she wants to be held. Biologically she knows being alone is bad. It's instinct. Preservation. And instead of responding to her cries I left her. Alone and upset. She'd stop. And then a few minutes later, louder... more desperate... Neil held me as I cried. It's just so hard to leave her alone. But it's right. I know it's right. It has to be done. She has to learn to fall asleep alone.

Being a parent is hard. It's constant. It's everything. And everything changes.

But look at her! That smile? Makes it all worth it.

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