Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I never speak in absolutes*

For the last few months I have been saying that I am feeling content with the size of our family. I like the fact that adults outnumber kid and that one of us can tune out, the other will be able to cover it. I like the fact that we can devote our full attention to Maddy. I like the fact we don't have to move/do renos to make room for another child. After so so so much money thrown at this house, moving saddens me. Upgraded roof insulation, sump pump and weeping tile, air conditioning, a brand new and secure fence... plus the exisiting big garage and safe neighbourhood and close to daycare. I like the fact we aren't daycare-poor with one kiddo. I like the fact that we're past that period of time betwen when I go back to work and our most favorite daycare accepted kids. I love our family. But very recently...

I always thought if I had one, I would have 2. I didn't like being an only child growing up. But after aching hips, other joints and back. And the whole post-labour issue. And sleeplessness (and my lack of ability to cope with sleeplessness). And colic. And my AGE. And it all, I was feeling very happy with one. But there have been...

There are pregnat people EVERYWHERE and it's been long enough that I look at the waddling with wistfullness. And the sleeplessness and colic is fading into the background... I did it once, right? And Maddy really is so much fun but time is FLYING by and where did my baby go? And there is that special relationship siblings have. I don't really understand it, but I recognize that it could be so special. Or? The could hate each other. But the only way to know...

And the other one could be even more colicky. Or a worse sleeper. Or clingy. Or whiney. Or, I hate even saying this, could have health concerns. But what if they are the snuggler that Maddy is not? What if they sleep as well as Maddy? What if, because we have an inkling about sleep, that there wouldn't be the same level of colic?

But maybe it's not a for sure, in my mind, only three? Maybe?**

* And, yes, I realize what I said. It's meant to be "funny".

** And there is a VERY important other person that has to be 100% part of this decision. And I am only mentioning it here, to think it aloud here, and have not even brought it up to him... so if you're reading this honey? DON'T PANIC! Just blame the my-cycle-is-about-to-start hormones.

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