Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My first one as a mom

I have been alive one or two years now. Well, 36 years. Ouch. I am 36 years old... How did that happen ALREADY? Back to the point, Birch. Stop your senile thought-wandering.

I have had many birthdays now. I have memories of parties and gifts and people who helped me celebrate aging. But this year is possibly the most special (other than the one where you turn legal to drink, but for very different reasons). This year is my first birthday as a mom with my baby in my arms.

On Monday my parents celebrated my birthday. My dad came over after work and we had cupcakes with candles I got to blow out and I got two cards. One was from my parents, generically extoling my daughterly virtues. The other was a sparkles covered, cartooned birthday card that said "Birthday love to my mommy" from Maddy. My eyes filled with tears at this card. Part of it was hormones (again, this cycle thing keeps HAPPENING every month and messing my hormones like mad) but most of it is just another realization I am a mom, a mom to an amazing little girl that I love more than anything. It also sent me down the future paths filled with handmade cards and macaroni artwork and playdough vases and dada and Maddy going to pick out gifts for mama, consisting of the #1 mom mugs and silly patterned socks... And those future birthdays are going to be so wonderful! For the first time since that uncertain time when aging begins to hurt, I am looking forward to my future birthdays, to getting older. To getting to celebrate it all with my Maddy. And Neil and my parents and friends and family. With everyone but this year and for the rest of my days, with Maddy too.

Other than this new notch in the bedpost of aging, life is continuing to be good. I am valiantly fighting illness and exhaustion and almost winning. Well, I am getting no more ill or exhausted and that in itself is a victory. And life is getting more organized. More normal. I think it'll all work out and I'll really be able to do it.

Last night, before heading out to take advantage of 15% Tuesday at Save-On, Neil and I gave Maddy her bath. My little girl stood by the side of the tub in her naked glory. And I couldn't resist... I HAD to! I gently reached Maddy's adorable little tushy and said "ba-donk-a-donk" as I grabbed. And this? This was funny to Maddy. Each pinch of her tush, with the accompanying "ba-donk-a-donk" had her more and more in stitches. And these little moments filled with my family and laughter and love are what make life wonderful. Make me happier than I ever thought possible.

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