Month two letter

Dear Maddy,

Two months old. Already! And you have proven yourself to be a girl of extremes. Extremely awake one day, extremely sleepy the next. Extremely grumpy or extremely sweet and adorable. And there are no slow transitions between any of these states. I held you in my arms and you had just finished eating. You were smiling the largest smiles I had seen to date. But then? Then you stopped. You looked and me and your brow wrinkled. And then there was a meltdown! I have no clue why, nothing had changed. You were still warm and full and being held and being sung to. But you had decided now was the time to grump.

We have been spending the last month doing everything we can to prevent you from going into these grump states. And as soon as we think we have it figured out, you find another reason/cause and we're scrambling again. Too warm? Too cold? Blanket too soft? Scratchy? Are you hungry? Too full? Acid reflux? Hating breast milk? Hating the breast? Oh! Breast too full! Now the breast is not full enough? Want to suck, but not eat! This soother is the best, then that one. Diaper too tight? Diaper too wet? Omg diaper too DRY? Please, baby girl, make up your mind! They say the only constant about a child is the constant change. You, my Maddy-moo, fit that perfectly.

But I don't want you to think you are ALWAYS grumpy. Much of the time you are sweet and cooing and looking around and wiggling. And smiles! Oh we see so many smiles now! Again, it changes what makes you smile. But if the smallest thing causes a hint of a smile, be assured your father and I will do that thing over and over just to see your beautiful face light up. We sing the same songs over and over, make sounds or faces. Anything! But when you do grump? You do it extremely well.

This week we went to a bookstore, at the end of one of your marathon awake days. No matter what baba, dido or I did you refused to stay asleep for more than 30 minutes. You had slept for about 1.5 or 2 hours between 830am and 7pm. Yes, almost 12 hours! And at 7pm, while we were at the bookstore the biggest meltdown ever began. It started with you looking at the rows and rows of books. You were happy, you were cooing! You started to look agitated (your head goes from side to side when you're ramping up) but I had to run to the bathroom. I passed you on to dad, and went across the store. About half way across the very large Chapters, on my way back, I heard it. I heard you. I raced back and tried to help dad stop the meltdown. But you were off! Dad went to pay for the book, I tried to get you into the car while calming you too. We met at the car, you were buckled in and then? Then the meltdown went into high gear. You wailed all the way home. We knew you weren't in pain, that you were just upset. But you could not, would not, calm. We got home and held you and rocked you and walked you and fed you. For 3 hours you were upset. Then we put you into your bassinet, eyes open and looking around, head turning from side to side. But thankfully you calmed. You fell asleep from 1030pm until 530am. You had a feed, went back to sleep. Had another feed, went back to sleep... and slept the morning away. Extremely awake one day, extremely asleep the next.

What other things do I want to remember about your second month? The way you slowly and softly suckle when you are nearing the end of a feed. We can always tell if you want more if you are finished the bottle and still glugging away! And how often you eat. You are a natural grazer. Drink a bit, wait 30 minutes or an hour. Have a bit more. Which means you always seem to be eating. And rarely sleeping. Also, when you are starting to meltdown, your head is the telltale sign. Your head turns side to side in agitation and your cooing gets more frantic. That is when my stomach falls, knowing that something is upsetting you. Your head control is really coming together. When you're being burped on the shoulder you will often keep your head up and look around. When I lift you from laying down I only need a finger or two behind your head, you can hold it up almost by yourself now. And you love laying free! You, my love, are not a snuggler. You are happy to lay on your back with your little arms and legs flailing away. Every day we can see that you have more and more control over where those little legs and arms are going. You are also trying so hard to suck on your fingers. You are bringing your closed fist to your mouth and gumming away. Although you also just as quickly pull your hand away, which will upset you. And you are almost always (except the time noted above) a sweet little thing when we're out and about. You love looking at new things! This old house? Been there, seen that... but new stores or restaurants? You are enthralled.

But, Madeline, you are the most perfect and amazing thing in our lives. We love you to extremes (more extreme!) and every day those feelings are deeper. Happy 2 months, Madeline (aka Maddy, Maddy-moo, baby girl, fuss-a-saur, grumpus etc).

Love,

--mom