This morning it was actually pretty easy to take Maddy to daycare. She was in a great mood, she had a good sleep, she loves going places! And I still love the daycare and the staff and the people there. Maddy was off and running and into everything. So much to explore! To taste! To throw! They even opened the sandbox (an indoor sandbox!) which Maddy tried to eat from. I was doing really good. Until I had to leave.Without Maddy. I said "bye bye" and she waved and blew kisses. And didn't even look at me. She was much too interested in everything else. Then I hugged her and kissed her and told her how much I love her. And cried a little... And she turned away and started playing. As I walked out, she started to follow me. I waved bye bye and one of the awesome staff grabbed her and took her back to the toys.
And I left her there.
Laura, the awesome Director, was so reassuring. Outgoing kids like Maddy do well at daycare. I know she'll thrive with new places to go, things to do, kids to interact with. She will not be the kid that gets bullied by others, she'll stand up for herself. She won't be like I was, as a child. The staff know what she can do and will work with her to learn new skills. She has her own little cubby with a hook and a place to put her shoes. And an art portfolio, where we can see how she improves in her drawing. She'll learn SO much from the other kids there. And the staff. We sometimes underestimate her skills and what she's capable of - we have never done this before!
This is the right thing to do. So why am I still crying?
* Edit to add - I called at 1115am. Maddy had just finished lunch and was about to get ready for her nap. And? She was doing just fine! She even had a few smiles when she went on her walk! And I got soooo many errands done and things around the house accomplished. I have 2 hours before Neil and I go pick Maddy up and all I need to do on my exhaustive list of things to do is mop the main floor. Aahhh... I think we'll both maybe make it through the day...