Friday, June 4, 2010

It's been awhile since I spoke about...

... ME!

So, what about me? I am doing pretty well, thanks for asking!

A few weeks ago I cut my hair. There was the short in February and then the OMG short a few weeks ago. It was about 1-2 inches long. It's an awesome style for getting ready quickly. However, it was quite... un-feminine. It's growing out now and much better. The cut was done well, it was just the length. In about 3 more weeks it'll be just right. I am also trying to lose some weight. I am pretty close to the weight I was when I got pregnant. But I am definitely a different (saggier) shape. My goal is to lose 30 pounds (4 pounds down now). Even though I am not at my ideal weight, yesterday I did something wild n' crazy. I bought skinny jeans! I have been a big fan of the baggy boot-cut forever but the fit? It wasn't right anymore. I looked saggy. The (young) sales lady grabbed her favorite style and handed them to me. Skinny jeans. I was reluctant but tried them on. And I liked them on me. I took them home and showed Neil. He agreed, they looked good. In about 26 pounds they will look better, but for having an 18 week old, I am happy. Oh! And I found an anti-wrinkle cream I really love. Prevera. It's working well and only $30 a jar. Hmmm... new hair (like I had when I was in my 20's), skinny jeans and anti-wrinkle cream. Is someone feeling old? *grin*

Emotionally? I am doing well too. The biggest struggle is convincing someone adorable yet oh so stubborn to sleep. It's hard to spend my days obsessing about the sleep patterns of Maddy. Watching for signs of tired then trying to put her down. When she's well rested she's the most happy, giggly, smiley and playful child ever. When she's tired, she's a grump. She is set off by the smallest thing and cries. Wails! I think the most difficult part is that I know what is wrong, I know what she needs. Sleep. But she fights me on it, while at the same time I know she wants me to make it all better. Is this some kind of foreshadowing with life as a teenager? After 4 months of trying everything to lure her to sleep we are now using a modified Cry it out (CIO). And it's hard. But after trying so many other methods we had to do something to bring it all under control. And we're seeing signs of it working! That makes it all worthwhile. My parents tell me it's retribution, that I was a poor sleeper. Karma? You suck. I thought you should know.

The only other struggle, minor in comparison, is the loss of the old Wendy. I am a mom right now, almost all the time. I miss my hobbies, going out with friends, working (yes, working!). I miss spending evenings out with Neil, doing errands. Right now our evenings are spent keeping someone calm until they are ready for bed then relaxing around the house. But always on alert for her to wake and then we start the calming all over again. Or cooking, cleaning, washing dishes and laundry. It's constant. And how can you do it all AND work? I am months away from facing that reality and already I can't imagine how other women do it. And they do it with TWO children... it's inconceivable.... *shudder*

Apparently I like talking about me! Although even when it's about me, it's about Maddy. Being a mother is truly constant.

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