Madds took longer to settle this time around. And I was a mess. There is something biological about a mother hearing her daughter cry. While she cried that was all I could hear. I withdrew into myself and stared at the TV or computer or floor... I was in agony.
Neil keeps reminding me that what didn't work once, may work now. Tonight I went in and rubbed her back and stroked her head and talked to her and told her over and over again how much I love her. Then I'd leave. But I kept going back in. And after about 30 minutes I was waiting for the time to go back in. And? There was silence. She was sleeping! I am happier, she seemed happier (or calmer at least) and I can sleep more easily tonight.
Nothing is harder than being a mom. But nothing is more rewarding... I love my Nunu more than I thought I could ever love.